One word comes to mind, terrifying. That's right, terrifying. With so much information out there these days, it's hard not to be nervous all the time. You're supposed to count your babies kicks every day. You're supposed to get ample exercise. You're supposed to eat your fruits and veggies. You're supposed to drink tons of water. You're supposed to know what's next and what's going on all the time. Let me tell you, it's nothing like you think it would be. Sometimes you don't feel movement for a little bit and you start to freak out. Or you go on a walk and it feels like the pressure down there is going to allow the baby to just fall right out, yep, really. Sometimes it literally feels like she's going to fall out when I walk. Haha. And I'm really not making that up. There are about 400 different things you can't eat. So many things are off limits. No one is going to tell you how it really feels. Maybe it's because everyone is so different. But I also think people aren't honest. Your doctor doesn't really say much. They do the routine check ups but if you don't have questions, they don't exactly tell you what to expect. I think that's why it's so terrifying. You're just supposed to walk around all excited and giddy, when in reality you're scared and have no clue what's going on with your body.
Pregnancy is HARD. And don't let anyone tell you otherwise. It's impossible not to be nervous or not to worry. Throughout my first trimester I was scared. With so many miscarriages around me I kept thinking, what if that's me too. What if something crazy is wrong and I'll never know? But God prevailed, as always.
The point is, it's impossible not to be terrified. But it doesn't last forever. I know when I see that sweet precious face on baby girl Jones, it'll make every worrying moment worth it. It's funny how generations are so much different when you talk about pregnancy. I talked with my 81 year old grandmaw about it and she said all she could remember is that it hurt, she birthed 3 babies. I try to talk to my mom about it and she just tells me it's all about instinct and not to read too much. But it's 2019 and the amount of information out there is incredible. I am so thankful for research. Without it, I'd be even more of a mess. Especially seeing as how the doctors office doesn't exactly tell you much.
Here I am 34 weeks into pregnancy and it's not exactly how I thought it would be. It's funny how you just have no clue what to expect and when you ask people you have to take it with a grain of salt. No two pregnancies are EVER the same, so it's funny to get advice you can't really run with. I will be so thankful to finish out strong. I'm one of the lucky ones. I never threw up. I never got heartburn. I never got hemorrhoids. I never got the belly line or a face mask. I didn't gain tons of weight or swell up like a balloon. Like I said, I'm a pretty lucky duck throughout this pregnancy and I couldn't be more thankful for that. However, I did take care of myself. I got almost 10 thousand steps nearly every day (after my first trimester). I drank tons of water daily. I took probiotics and prenatal vitamins. I ate veggies pretty often. And I was really good to myself and my body. I didn't let pregnancy get in my way of doing things. And you shouldn't either!
Let me just tell you, I didn't obey all those silly rules. I've had a glass of wine. I drank raw ACV (apple cider vinegar), I drank Kombucha, I ate canned tuna more than once, you can only listen to so many rules and y'all know I'm not a rule follower! ;)
Pregnancy is one of the biggest blessings ever and I can hardly explain how beautiful it is to grow another human being inside of me. For all of you mamas, pregnant or not, embrace those moments. I know I will miss her and my big giant belly. I just wish I wouldn't have been as scared in the first trimester, but it's hard not to be. It has been such a wild journey and if I had to do it all over again, obviously I would. Now, as we prepare for the birth of our daughter, we just hold true to our faith and pray that we get it all done before she gets here. But if I had to do it all over again, I think I would go with a birthing center because I am very passionate about health and wellness. xo