Try your Best, Forget the Rest



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 "Whatever it takes"

 

Let's talk about relationships. I spent so much time under the age of 25 dating and dating and dating. I got hurt so many times. And not just a little hurt, I'm talking about manipulative, heart-breaking, hurt.  I honestly thought I would never repair my heart and allow it to open up to the love that it deserved, ever again. I dated a lot of idiots, I'll be honest. I never had great luck with guys. Was it me? Was it them? Was it where I was hanging out and who I was spending time with? I'm sure all those years I spent hanging out in bars didn't help. My mom used to always tell me, "You are who you hang out with." Now that I'm in a long term relationship with a great guy, I believe her. Back then, I just laughed at her little quote. Word to the wise, moms usually know what they're talking about. If you haven't found the guy of your dreams or the guy you know you deserve, don't fret. It took me a LOT of dating bad guys to get to the good guy. God isn't just going to reward you one day with the guy you want. There IS someone out there for everyone. Now, Rialand and I have been together for over 4 years...and somehow we're both still alive. I've learned that there's a LOT of compromise when it comes to relationships. Nothing good comes overnight. There will be tears, there will be fights, there will be endless amounts of stress, there will be nights where you don't kiss. It's all normal, and all a part of healthy relationships. I used to think fighting was unhealthy. Mainly because my parents hardly ever fought around us as kids. They tried to keep that from us. But I'm here to tell you that not letting your kids see you fight doesn't do them any good when they become adults. We grow up thinking our parents are these flawless, perfect humans who love each other so endlessly that they've never once had a fight. HOW SILLY!! Let's break down what compromise looks like in our house. I like everything put away and Rialand likes everything out, right where he can see it. I grew up in a ridiculously clean house. I'm talking about the kind of clean that doesn't usually exist in people's houses. People still go to our house this day and say, does anyone even live here....until they see my room. LOL. There is NO such thing as a perfect relationship. If it looks perfect, don't believe it. If someone tells you it's perfect, don't believe them. We all do it, I get it. People say how are you guys? And the response is always the same, "we are so great, thanks for asking." Or, "He's amazing, we're amazing, thanks for asking." Let's all just cut the crap why don't we? Let me put it this way, if yall aren't fighting about at least one thing in life, then run. Because that's a make believe land filled with unicorns and fairies. Relationships aren't supposed to be easy. They aren't supposed to make sense all the time. They aren't supposed to be perfect. The second that you realize this and come to terms with it, the better off your life will be. This is where compromise comes into play. If you can't compromise, forget it, cause it aint gonna work out. I spend my days cleaning up just like a regular mom does. And no, I don't have kids, but Rialand has two and they are at our house quite a bit. Which means that I spend even more time picking things up and putting them back where they once were. Like I said, I like things put away. If you think relationships are hard, bring kids into them, that's the icing on the cake. Especially if the kids are not yours and you get to hear that constantly from people as a reminder. I tell you all of this to make you realize that we are all human. I'm no relationship expert, in fact I'm extremely flawed when it comes to doing what's right sometimes. Humans make mistakes, humans assume things, humans fight. Sometimes we will disappoint each other, but at the end of the day, either you're thankful or you're not. There's no in between. It HAS to be worth it. You have to have that "whatever it takes" attitude. It's funny that I chose this topic this week because we pay rent on the 5th of every month (aka today) and that seems to big our biggest scuffle time. Surprise surprise that it's the time of the month where money comes into play. Don't they say that one of the biggest arguments in relationships is around finances? Pretty sure I've heard that before. No amount of money is going to make your relationship at ease. There will always be something to argue about. The truth is, we all deserve to be treated well. If you're single, don't rush into it. If you're in a relationship where you're unhappy, leave. Like I said before, there is someone out there for everyone. I'm thankful for our four years, but don't for one second think that it's perfect. YOU don't have to be perfect or in the right place to meet your person. I was super broken and insecure when I met Rialand, and I still struggle with those battles from my past, sometimes everyday. Ephesians 4:2 says, "Be completely humble and gentle, be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace." Next to faith, I think peace and patience are insanely important in relationships. Believe in yourself, believe in who God brought into your life, believe that there is someone out there for you. Believe that it will happen and it WILL. 

xo

 

Speaking of my man, check him out in his YAW men's t-shirt. You can shop this shirt for your man here!

you are worthy christian t-shirt mens green 

2 comments


  • Haley Stanley

    LOVE this. I focus too much on being the perfect wife, daughter, sister, employee, etc. But holding on to the past will never help with being better in the future. Thanks for sharing! <3


  • Yashin

    I am so happy for you that you are at a right place with a great guy now. All the heartbreaks lead to a great love that you truly appreciate.

    Yashin
    https://stylishmomnextdoor.com


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